Brother Ron Barnes
Founder and Pastor

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I Canít Get the Courage


Dear Brother Ron


I just can't get the courage to tell my dad I want to move out and move in with my mom. It seems like Iím not happy here. Iím usually this fun outgoing person but since my dad got a girlfriend I have slowly drifted away from him and we never talk anymore. Now they are engaged and you can tell things won't get better. I love him and don't want him to be upset with me but I need this for myself too.


 I just went up there to talk to him but chickened out and came back downstairs. I don't know what to do. Iím so lost. Itís so hard to tell your own parent that you don't want to live with them. I feel awkward talking to people about it. Most teens don't care what their parents think or feel but I just haven't been able to talk to him. Please pray for me and give me advice. How would you go about it? I would greatly appreciate it.




Dear Valedictorian

Tell him since he is now engaged to his girlfriend, they will want to have their privacy and you feel like a fifth wheel. It's not that you don't love him, it's just that his new love will probably feel better without one of the old family constantly around. That way, she won't have to worry about what you might be telling your mother (not that you would but it might be in the back of her mind).

Tell your dad that he is still your dad and you will always love him but you think everybody will be more comfortable if you live with your mom. That way, his fiancť will not suspect that he might be clinging to his past instead of moving on with her.


You say you canít get the courage to talk to him. You seem to do a pretty good job of putting your thoughts on paper. Maybe instead of talking to him, ou should write him a letter. He would then have to come to you to talk about it. Since he would already know your feelings and know you do not want to hurt him, it might take some of the pressure off both of you.

Best always